We used our over 20 years of experience as family nutritionists to help inform the development of the Sunny Side Up Feeding Framework, which gives parents simple guidance for raising confident eaters in our diet-centric society. This framework will help you cut through the child-feeding advice that leaves parents feeling stressed, confused, and like they are doing things wrong and support you in raising intuitive eaters.
Our Feeding Framework Supports Parents
Our feeding framework offers tips to simplify feeding children and supports confident eating for you and your family. There is not one way to feed a child. Each family, parent, and child is different. This framework is designed to offer you support and guidance but without the rigid rules grounded in diet culture.
You’ll notice our framework isn’t about what you feed your child but rather about how to approach feeding so you can best support your child in eating well. Consider this a guide or touchstone to anchor yourself as you respond and adjust to what you and your family need.
1. Support yourself in making feeding less stressful.
Supporting yourself is the first step. As they say on airplanes, you must put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your child’s. In the feeding framework, by supporting yourself, you lay the groundwork for supporting the ongoing feeding relationship with your child. If you feel supported and grounded, your child will feel more grounded when it comes to food. Here, we offer you 5 tips to support yourself.
- When it comes to feeding, let go of perfectionism, external expectations, and the negative effects of diet culture.
- Plan meals and snacks in a way that works for you.
- Stock your kitchen and simplify grocery shopping in a way that works for you so you can easily make go-to meals.
- Offer balanced meals and snacks to yourself and your family throughout the day.
2. Foster a positive mealtime environment.
Mealtimes can be stressful. As parents, we’re often scrambling to get everyone fed and out the door or into bed. Instead of worrying about what food you are going to serve, spend some time only focusing on how to make mealtimes less stressful. You can lay the foundation for less stressful mealtimes with these 3 tips.
- Consider first what YOU need at meals as a caregiver to be present and able to connect with your family.
- Consider what each family member needs to feel as safe and settled as possible at the table.
- Avoid difficult conversations or talking about what people are or aren’t eating at the table.
- Family meals are important and can be any meal or snack. You don’t have to have a sit-down dinner every day.
3. Trust yourself. Trust your child to eat and grow.
There’s almost constant noise from diet culture telling us we can’t trust ourselves and to be afraid that if we don’t feed our children in some “perfect” way, we won’t meet their nutritional needs, and they won’t grow the way they’re meant to. You’re made to feel that you need to feed your children in a way that prevents them from having a larger body. This is our reminder to you that you can trust yourself to feed your children in a responsive and supportive way, that children are born intuitive eaters, and that you can trust your child to eat and grow.
- Trust that your child will eat what their body needs.
- Trust that your child will progress in their developmental feeding skills.
- Trust that your child’s body will grow the way it’s meant to.
4. Respond to your child’s personality, cues, and abilities.
The negative effects of diet culture interfere with a parent’s ability to respond to their child. Responding to your child fosters autonomy, connection, and trust. If, as parents, we follow the mainstream feeding advice that it’s our job to GET our child to eat certain foods, we’re not responding to the individual child. We’re reacting to pressure from fear-based messaging. Here are reminders to support you in responding to your child.
- When it comes to situations not food-related, is your child more cautious, sensitive, energetic, anxious, or adventurous?
- Your child’s age, temperament, and personality often determine how they approach food.
- If your child is neurodiverse, consider what supports and accommodations are helpful to them in other settings that can be applied to eating.
5. Model a positive relationship with food and body.
Last but certainly not least, children learn best from watching others. The most powerful thing we can do as a parent if we want our children to have a positive relationship with food and their body is to work on our own. We believe in “faking it to you make it” if you at first need to focus on what you say or do in front of your child.
- Children learn about nutrition and develop a healthy relationship with food from watching their parents.
- How would you describe your relationship with food?
- What are some examples of diet culture, and how have they impacted you?
- Consider your own language about food and bodies.
Are you interested in learning more about raising intuitive eaters?
Check out our course, Take the Frenzy Out of Feeding: A No-Pressure Formula for Feeding Your Family and Raising Confident Eaters.
We’re Elizabeth & Anna!
It’s great to have you here. We’re registered dietitians and we share tips to support you in raising kids with a healthy relationship with food.