Dear Camp Counselor,
As you know, I picked up my daughter from overnight camp over the weekend. When I arrived at camp, I was greeted by a huge smile and long hug. I think she grew an inch while she was away. She looks forward to the 2 weeks she spends at overnight camp more than any other time of the year.
She loves the rock climbing, swimming and kayaking. She loves the camp traditions, friendships and the feeling of freedom she has when she’s at camp. Most of all, though, she loves the teenage and young adult counselors. She looks up to you and watches your every move. That’s why I’m writing you this letter.
You may be surprised that one of the first things she told me about camp was that you were on a diet. She explained that you were getting ready to “look good in your bathing suit” for an upcoming post-camp tropical trip. She said you were counting your steps and talking about what you were not eating.
Did you know she was listening? Did you know she looks up to you and wants more than anything to be a camp counselor one day? She wants to be just like you.
I don’t think your intent was to teach young girls about dieting or to introduce the idea that making yourself smaller is a good idea. I don’t think for a second that you were trying to cause the 11 years olds in your cabin harm. I assume you spend your summer at camp because you love children and love camp. You and I both know it’s not for the money.
Because of your love for children and camp, I want you to know and understand that when you have twelve 11 year olds under your care, negative comments about your body or about restricting food need to be kept to after “lights out” or written in an email or letter home.
You are in a pivotal position to have a lasting impact on these girls’ lives. All people in influential positions that work with children, camp counselors, parents, and educators, need to understand the impact of diets and restrictive food messages on our children. I believe if you understood that, you wouldn’t have talked about your pre-beach diet to the girls in your cabin.
You may wonder why I’m so concerned about a camp counselor modeling dieting behavior. My concern is multilayered. I am a Registered Dietitian that specializes in eating disorders. I unfortunately see first hand the harm our diet culture causes people throughout their lifetime.
I’m concerned because dieting is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder. We know that adolescents who diet are more likely to exhibit eating disorder behavior 5 years later. Many people who diet fall into a lifetime of diet cycling.
You may be too young to have fully witnessed or experienced the diet cycle, although I know many teenagers who have. The diet cycle first sucks you in with the promise of feeling better. Then, you lose weight and get praised for the weight loss.
When you’re on a diet, you miss out on important things in life because your brain focuses on food, the basic need you are lacking. The diet ends, and the weight comes back, and oftentimes, more weight than was lost (because 95% of diets fail).
Then, the shame hits. Many people spend their life in this cycle feeling as if there is something wrong with them, rather than the intrinsically flawed diets. We know that this weight cycling and the shame involved is what is harmful for people’s health. Not to mention, diets suck the joy out of life. I want something different for my daughter and her fellow cabinmates.
I’m also concerned because diet messages can have a huge impact on adolescents' self esteem. Did you know you had a particularly vulnerable age of campers in your cabin for messages of body hatred and dieting?
The girls in your cabin are going through or about to go through puberty. Did you notice your cabin photo — all of your girls were all lined up in two rows in front of the mountain view? They were of many different heights, shapes and sizes.
Your cabin picture looked really different from the cabin photo of the 7-year-olds and from the photo of the 15-year-olds. There’s a biological reason for that. When girls go through puberty their body fat percentage increases by 120%, compared to a decrease in body fat percentage for boys.
It’s normal for their bodies to become more round prior to their first period. However, this is just the age they start to hear about dieting or trying to change their bodies. They don’t have to hear that at camp.
I’ve heard the statistic that 2 in 3 13-year-old girls are fearful of gaining weight, and 1 in 3 do not like their current weight status. Think about that: girls are fearful of gaining weight when they need to be gaining weight. Gaining weight, particularly fat mass, is what their bodies are meant to do so that they can become women.
These girls need to hear that their bodies are to be trusted during this time and that their bodies are different than they have ever been in their lives. They need to know it’s important to trust their hunger especially because their nutritional needs are higher than they have ever been in their lives.
When they run, climb, dance, and play at camp, they need to do that because it feels good, not because they “should” or a step counter tells them to do it more. However, when they hear a trusted counselor wanting to change her body to "look good," how do you think that affects their vulnerable minds?
I certainly don’t blame you. You, too, are swimming in this diet culture of ours. You may have had a parent, teacher or counselor model to you about diets, weight loss or body hatred. You may think diet talk is commonplace and didn’t think a thing of it.
How are you to know any differently when so many people spend time criticizing their own bodies or talking about their latest diet? I don’t blame you and at the same time I want to provide you with this knowledge because you can make a difference.
It’s possible to change our culture so that girls and boys grow up to not question their bodies. Camp is a place that can and needs to be free of diet talk. Camp’s mission is to teach character values and it’s greatest asset is that its isolated from our larger culture.
If camp counselors are empowered with the knowledge of how diet’s harm and how to talk about their own bodies and food around children, than you all could make an even bigger difference in these children’s lives. I’m happy to talk to you more about this.
I think these topics need to be a part of camp's staff training each summer because you work so intimately with children. If you're interested in reading more about the harm diets cause children, read my post about Weight Watchers marketing to children.
I thank you for all you did for my daughter those two weeks. I hope my letter is not accusatory but rather interesting to you. I truly do believe that we can stop the cycle of body hatred, dieting, and shame with this generation of children.
I believe that it’s possible when my daughter is a camp counselor, it won’t even cross her mind to try to change her body for a bathing suit, but rather she'll enjoy her wonderful body that helps her do all the amazing activities at camp.
Sincerely,
Anna Lutz
Your camper's mom
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We're Elizabeth & Anna!
It's great to have you here. We're registered dietitians and we share tips to support you in raising kids with a healthy relationship with food.
Thanks for the great post
Thank you so much!
This is really helpful, thanks.
So glad you found this letter helpful.
I am one of the supervisors for the counselling staff at a camp in Ontario and myself and the camp director loved reading this so much that we are doing a session on it with the staff this week! We are wondering if there's any way we can get in touch with you to maybe have this article added to our staff manual so it can be implemented as a training session at our camp during training week every year! Thank you for writing this- it is something I have been trying to advocate for a long time, but having it actually written from a parent's perspective is so helpful to us!
Hi Maddie - This makes my day. I would love for you to use it in your staff training. That is my hope in the coming year - to get this to camp directors. Thank you so much for sharing the letter with your staff. I will email you now at the address you listed.
Beautifully written ?? I have a 15 month old daughter, Aubree, and I feel that this letter encompasses how I feel towards her. Being a parent is the toughest and most amazing gift we are given. Congratulations on your family of four! ??
Thank you so much for your comment and reading my post. I agree - what a tough job but also a gift! Thank you!
Hello! I'm a recent college grad, hopeful MSW student, and a camp counselor/class instructor for my local gym. This post really stuck with me, and I hope it continues to stick with me as I get ready for work tomorrow, pack my protein shake and head out for a fun-filled day of games and functional fitness.
Being on the other side of the summer camp experience is such a new perspective. As kids do, I often want to pretend the dodgeball didn't actually hit my leg, or be upset when I can't do as many push-ups as the next girl. But I'm not a kid, and this is not my summer camp experience.
When I sit down at lunch, week after week, I have kids that follow me, listen to me, and save me a seat. They bring me an extra piece of fruit at snack time, and they talk about what they've told their parents about me. They color pages for me, and they ask me if I'll be there tomorrow to hang out with them again. When I walk in the door every morning, I'm greeted with hugs and dozens of kids who have dozens of things to say to me. I get these small, daily reminders that these kids watch everything I do, listen to everything I say, and they go home and tell their parents and friends about it.
I know that they are listening, and I know that they are watching. I hope I can give my camp kids, especially the young girls that surround me and always ask to be on my team, much better things to listen to and watch.
Allison, Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I wrote this to reach as many people as possible and it makes me happy that it has reached you and it sound like was received well. You are so right. Those kids are watching your every mood. I also want you to know you don't have to be perfect and it's okay to show your feelings. If there are things you choose to not say in front of the children, seek out your own support - friends, parents, professionals etc. So, that you have support - you're giving so much to the kids. I was once a camp counselor and love camp so much. You are making a difference and I thank you!
Love this! Did you send it to the camp? I’d love to hear if there is a response. Diet culture is transmitted to children by those older than them (and from the media made by those older than them). This is why part of stopping the vicious cycle needs to include educating adults in children’s lives. Our children know how to listen to their bodies until these messages interrupt that empowerment and embodiment. Your tone is respectful while still conveying the importance of your request. I’m liking the idea of writing letters as a way to start a dialogue on these often sensitive and triggering topics. A letter can be less confrontational in that it allows each party (writer and recipient) the time and space to really consider the issue raised. My daughter is 10 and the recent growth she has experienced in preparation for puberty is dramatic. It takes a lot of unlearning from the dominant weight narrative to trust that her body is doing exactly what it needs to and keep the messages in our home around food and movement consistent with how they always have been. I so appreciate the work you do to bring attention to this vulnerable population!
I did send it to the camp director. They said they will incorporate this topic into their training and I plan to stay on top of it. I wasn't expecting a huge response and do hope the piece reaches many camps. Thank you for reading!
Nailed it! Very well written and SUCH an important message.
Thank you so much, Anna!:)
Beautifully written!
Thank you so much, Cathy!
Thank you so much for this!
Kathleen, Thank you so much for reading!
Breathtaking.... Thank you so much for sharing!!!
I wonder if you mind having it translated to spanish so thebmessage can reach even more people (obviusly with all the references and links to your own site and original piece). If so, please let me know, I'd be happy to gelp and share it with the katin community .
If not, it's torally ok and I still thank you for such a consciousness bite ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you very much for reading our blog.
Anna this is an excellent article. As a former middle school counselor I feel so sad about the messages our students received about their bodies. I will share this with anyone willing to read it.
Alana, Thank you very much for reading and sharing!