It really hit me recently, diet culture is making our children more picky, not less. Diet culture’s influence on parenting is making us feed our children worse, not better.
This came into focus for me one morning. My child has recently started playing a sport. I was serving breakfast, and I was aware he’d have a long, hot practice in the afternoon and I wanted him to be fueled. I made him a piece of cheese toast, and went to add a fruit to his breakfast. I thought to myself, “He’s not going to eat any of the fruit I have on hand.”
He is my pickier eater and often leaves food on his plate. I thought through what fruit I had on hand. Grapes – no. Oranges – no. Banana – no. Then, I thought, I bet if I cut up a banana and put sunflower seed butter (we have a peanut allergy in the house) on it and topped it with chocolate chips, it would be more appealing to him and he would eat it.
And he did. His breakfast was more complete. He got more energy, fiber, and potassium for his hot, sweaty practice. Many may think it’s an unhealthy move to put Sunbutter and chocolate chips on a banana, but preparing the banana that way made it more healthy, because he ate it.
The Trouble with Feeding Advice
Lots of parenting and nutrition advice would tell me not to put anything on the banana, right? The added sunflower seed butter and chocolate chips are “too much fat” or “too much sugar“…or just “too much”. Diet culture may even say not to serve the banana!
However, these rules we absorb from diet culture don’t help us feed our children well. Food rules that are based on restricting or feeding our children less in order to control their body size, don’t help us support our children in eating a variety of food and eating enough to fuel the many things their bodies are doing, especially growing.
As parents, we are bombarded with information about feeding our children. We receive messages of how to get our kids to eat more or less. We hear tips about how to help our child not be a picky eater, that may actually make them pickier. We’re told it’s our responsibility if our child is “too big” or “too small”.
Sometimes, all of this information is conflicting and contradictory and can keep us from feeding our family in the best way possible. At the end of the day, we all want what is best for our child. We want them to eat well and be healthy.
Are we making our children pickier?
This idea was first introduced to me by Virginia Sole-Smith when she interviewed me for an article about ARFID and orthorexia, and I see the association in my office frequently. Our fear of feeding our children “too much” or the wrong types of foods is one factor why children are pickier eaters.
We are told we should only feed our children certain foods, like kale and quinoa, or foods that are prepared in certain ways. Our own fear of food, fostered by our culture, can transfer to our children being fearful of food.
Don’t let diet culture tell you how to feed your child
Don’t be afraid to feed your child food that tastes good. Don’t be afraid to prepare foods in ways they are familiar with or interested in.
Another example of this is when my children were younger, two of them didn’t like broccoli. However, if you put cheese sauce on top (the same sauce I make for macaroni and cheese), they would eat lots of broccoli.
The broccoli becomes an avenue for the cheese. Some parents may say, “I don’t want to teach my children to eat only higher fat, higher sugar foods.” I want them to learn to eat “healthy”.
The truth is, if they eat broccoli with cheese sauce, they are more likely to later try roasted or steamed or raw broccoli. I’d argue putting cheese sauce on the broccoli is healthy, because it helps the child learn to eat a food they aren’t familiar with and they still get the nutrients from the broccoli.
If they aren’t scared of the cheese sauce, it makes them a little less scared of the broccoli. The unfamiliar food becomes familiar, and they are more likely to eat it later.
Do you think diet culture may be getting in the way of you feeding your child well?
Start by noticing your thoughts. When feeding your child, do you have thoughts of that’s “too much” or “not healthy?” Notice those thoughts, and is what you are thinking true? Notice if you have rules like not seasoning vegetables with a fat source or not preparing foods in certain ways.
You can offer a balanced meal with different food groups in a way that is tasty and appealing. The way one food is cooked or prepared doesn’t make the whole meal “unhealthy.”
More diet-free tips for meals for picky eaters
- Serve fish or other proteins breaded.
- Serve raw veggies with dips/salad dressings.
- Sprinkle cheese on top of eggs.
- Serve fruit with a yogurt dip or nut/seed butter.
- Serve fruit in smoothies.
- Serve an unfamiliar protein source in a familiar way – maybe chicken or fish as part of taco night.
- Put fruit in pancakes or muffins.
- Melt butter on steamed veggies and add salt or dried herbs to taste.
- Serve fruit alongside ice cream or cookies, or another sweet your child likes.
Are you interested in more support?
If you are looking for more support to help you feed your picky eater, check out our self-paced course Take the Frenzy Our of Feeding: A No-Pressure Formula for Feeding Your Family and Raising Confident Eaters. Our course is packed with parent support, dinner ideas for picky eaters, how to stock your kitchen, and much more.
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We’re Elizabeth & Anna!
It’s great to have you here. We’re registered dietitians and we share tips to support you in raising kids with a healthy relationship with food.
